Tragically, I had a long-standing engagement in Northamptonshire on 17 July, which prevented me from joining my fellow Geordie exhibitionists for Spencer Tunick’s latest mass nude ‘installation’. Seismographs flickered as art lovers and connoisseurs of the human form across the globe breathed a huge collective sigh of relief.
3 August 2005

Who says PR is not like Ab Fab? I enjoyed a glorious 24 hours drinking champagne in celebration when Edward Heath died, much to the bemusement of my clients. As one kindly put it: ‘Ted Heath was a fat, rude, single, music-loving Tory, whose life ended in bitterness and failure. You had everything in common.’
7 September 2005

Top executives these days don’t just want the money. They want high profiles because they crave recognition – and not simply in the form of gongs. They now feel they deserve the sort of respect accorded to lifeboatmen and intensive care nurses.
2 November 2005

Wouldn’t it be handy if we all came with a ‘best before’ date stamped on our body, ideally in a place where we could see it without resorting to a mirror?
7 December 2005