Why do people use us?


Here’s what they say about Keith Hann and his team:

‘Quietly amusing in a cerebral sort of way.’
Robin Ashby, Director General, UK Defence Forum

‘Curmudgeon’
Prof J.C.D. Clark, historian

‘Undoubtedly the best financial PR man based between Whittingham and Yetlington’
Sir Michael Darrington, former Managing Director, Greggs plc

‘Quite incredibly rude’
Former girlfriend, who should get out more

‘Keith always asks the relevant questions, like “what could possibly go wrong?” Often, quite a lot. He always gets to the crux of the matter and offers practical solutions like “why don’t you relocate your pub estate to the south-east?” Superb. Incisive. A master of gloom and despondency. And good company (usually).’
Ralph Findlay, Chief Executive, Marston’s PLC (formerly The Wolverhampton & Dudley Breweries, PLC)

‘I have just found out that my 85-year-old mother lives in the immediate vicinity of this madman.
Clearly one or the other will have to move ’
Stuart Graham, former Chief Executive, Johnson Service Group PLC

‘He is not the conventional City PR man – for one thing, he is willing to tell his clients when he disagrees with them. He can write well even about the most turgid corporate issues and he engages very closely with both the client and its business. When I was chairman of Northern Foods he was one of my very closest confidants and I trusted his judgement and integrity in all our City dealings. On top of which, we had great fun.’
Lord Haskins, former Chairman, Northern Foods plc

‘I wouldn’t be where I am today without him’
Inmate, HM Prison, Ford

‘He is negative, depressing – and terrific. Simply the best wordsmith in the business.’
Lord Kirkham CVO, Founder, DFS Furniture Company Limited

‘Magnificently lugubrious’
Ben Laurance, former editor, Financial Mail on Sunday

‘Keith is possibly the most amusing lunching companion in the world of financial PR – I only said possibly.’
Senior journalist (anonymity requested)

‘Arthur has forgotten more than Keith ever knew about financial PR.’
Senior journalist (anonymity requested)

‘Craster is undoubtedly the brains behind the organisation – assuming that either brains or organisation exist in keithhann.com’
Senior journalist (anonymity requested)

‘He is a true original’
Alistair Mackinnon-Musson, former Deputy Chairman, Hudson Sandler

‘I want what he’s drinking!!!!!!’
Simon Moate, former director, Johnson Service Group plc

‘Craster is seriously cute*!’
The late Pat O’Driscoll, former Chief Executive, Northern Foods plc
* admittedly based on photographic evidence rather than personal acquaintance

‘He is an exceptional communicator who quickly grasps the intricacies
of any given subject matter and produces the goods every time’
Dr Tony Sweeten, former Chief Executive, The 600 Group plc

‘Keith is to public relations what Ribbentrop was to diplomacy’
Malcolm Walker CBE, Chief Executive, Iceland Foods Limited

‘The consummate PR man!’
Dominic Walsh, Leisure Industries Correspondent, The Times, on Twitter, 22 November 2011. Though admittedly he did subsequently describe himself as ‘a sarcastic, cynical, greying curmudgeon’.

‘Arthur’s indolence, self-containment and antisocial behaviour patterns clearly reflect his long association with a master who is a sociopathic recluse. Or, quite possibly, vice-versa’
I. C. Winter, canine psychoanalyst

Has Keith Hann ever worked for you? Perhaps you are a former Chief Executive for whom he drafted a supposedly anodyne profit warning that led to the loss of your job, wife and home, condemning you to a premature retirement sitting on a steam yacht in the Mediterranean, sipping dry Martinis mixed for you by a bevy of bikini-clad blondes.

If so, please e-mail us a suitable quote at
luckybastard@keithhann.com
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